Just Say No

Why would you want to make something that has a 50% chance of being the worst of you , put yourself willingly through that thing's adolescence; spend time, effort and more on something that probably is not going to care about you once it has its "own life", and still call the entire experience "rewarding"? 

Consensus Mad Ide(m)s

Do I really want it versus Do I think you really want it?

It is never too late to quit. Or too early to.

War Fair

And that's why they tell you not to hurry into anything. Or away from it.
We are veterans at these games, and yet we forget the codes to play by.

Dead-line

This service is emotionally unavailable.

Learning from failed deals

Reference checks for relationships should be de rigueur, for more than just the hygiene factor. There is nothing like the insufferable prospect that the bloke with you is just a new face making the same old mistakes.
And, knowing why someone was dumped, or how a person deals with dumping another, is good-to-have knowledge. What if he is a phone dumper? What if she is like an itch that refuses to go? What if she refuses to face dumpage? What if he is an insensitive boor? And no one like an ex to really dish the dirt. Or if ex happens to be Shri Charm, to let Shri New Kid on Block know that the competition is waiting for him to slip up.

I can't wait to meet an Ex- even have a list of questions for her, and images of some tea, cookies (and fries with mint chutney and sour cream) and good old fashioned bonding over oestrogen:-

1. Is this guy someone you'd recommend to a friend?
   
2. Does this guy have more than 10 stock jokes and stories to share at a party?
3. Have you ever been embarrassed by him?
4. Do you think you have taught him something? (If not, is it because he is incapable of learning?)
   
5. In your many fights, who was the one apologizing more often?
   
6. Did you feel intellectually, emotionally or physically drained by this guy?
7. Did you break up with him, or did he? (it is never mutual- which part of me reads daft?)
   
8. What were the reasons you really think you were incompatible?
   
9. Have you had post-break up banjos yet?
10. Do you feel relieved that you aren't together? (This can be answered truthfully only after passage of a sufficiently long period of time (at least 3-6 months). But chances are, if Newbie is a complete bathingloofah equivalent, this is an answer that will dominated by Ayes)

Genius, almost

Not scrapping an idea whose time is past- is that a sign of burned-out innovation or just a loathing to admit failure?

Trials and Tabulations

How many before you surrender?

Lust in translation

Imagine having to explain to someone what the smell of filter coffee does to you in the morning. Or why on some days, all you want is curd rice with naarthangai. Or the joys of nongu, which doesn't taste the same when you call it an ice apple. Or those of the many veedhis of Mylai that have managed to cling to a past one finds re-assuring familiarity in. Of moru milagai and molakuzhambu. Grand Snacks and kunguma poo jaangiri. Or how the Hindu doesn't read the same outside of Chennai. Or how after Lakhs and Lakhs came Millions and Millions. But no more.
Of how everyone knows everyone through someone in my big small town.

After a long day's night, you just want to be with what feels like home.

PT0

what kind of games do you play?

mind-fucking ones.

March madness

"Do you notice anything different?"
"..you look relaxed, maybe?"
"..and.."
"you have pink blobs on your face. Did you get a chemical peel done?"

Is it easier to over-write memories than override them? Is it easier to replace or remove?

Falling gold prices

"Gold prices are falling..."
"..really? so what do you want to buy?"
"..nothing, I was just telling you. You promised the last time that you would buy something. It hardly looks nice when a girl your age doesn't wear any gold..."
"I don't like gold."
"..Think of it as an investment.."
"..I don't intend to sell any gold I buy."
"..your friend bought those gold bars,didn't she? And a ruby set as well...."
"..she doesn't pay rent.Plus, I told you, she has everything arranged for her marriage, except the groom, which is a really sad state of affairs."
" You said you would marry by this year-end. What happened to that?"
"..I didn't like the guy enough to marry him..."
"So then, you should have let us find someone.."
"How is this linked to gold?"
"Nothing. But if you aren't marrying, you might as well start saving."
"Point taken. Call that insurance agent again..."
"Nobody ever listens to what I say......"
"Fine...we will buy some gold bars if it falls further."

The End isn't Nigh.

Okay. Oka*. Ok.K

This is absurd- I set out to write something entirely different, here I am comparing styles of okaying.

Anyways, yesterday I was thinking how thinking patterns change, de-evolve with the passage of time. When I was in school, it was with the end-in-mind. School would end, then college would, then I would get a job.That was the idea. And after a job,nothing substantial would happen which would need thinking. I mean, to get there, seemed like it would take ages. Notice how little kids too cannot go beyond becoming an astronaut or pilot when asked what they want to do with their lives.

Now, miles away from there, I know that life has begun, and threatens not to end as fast. The end isn't near, and if I complained about school ever, I regret it. Education should be a longer phase in one's life- it should be an exact half life at least!I struggle to live down one year at a time- getting through work isn;t half as exciting as getting through school. The prospect of not having to study certain subjects was alluring.

What drives one from the 365th day to the 366th at work? Dilbert of the Day?

cupid's arrows aint enough

I don't think love is a continuos flow of the emotion. I see that it has peaks and dips, and probably, it is over even before you realize that you had it at all. I also don't think that it is possible to love unconditionally for a long period of time.I mean, there has to be a return on investment.Deciding whether it is commensurate or not is a different ball-game.

It seems to be a net balance in the end-if what you like is more than you dislike, then you can love it, given a relatively longer period of time. (Comfort confused with love and associated despondency at loss of comfort-giver). Further, if conditions present themselves that you have no choice but to force yourself to find things to like more than you dislike, then you will learn to live with it (but not love it). And lastly, you could love out of a sense of dispassionate duty or guilt.

(Rushdie ,through the mind of Amina Sinai: Each day, you just need to find a new thing to love about the other person.)I guess its not too difficult to find enough things, if you count in the shape of an earlobe, the twitch of a nostril, the curl of an eyelash, and a mischievious upper lip.

And btw, trivia for A: The Goddess Parvati herself was known to have a horrible temper.

Warms my fingers...

It isn't the summer heat or the mild winter warmth....but there is something in the air that makes huge pink blobs on my cheeks and makes me feel all warm and woozy inside.
I like it this way...can it stay?

The Right Time is Never

A asks me how much time does it take to really know if something will work out or not.In general, a month of extensive flirtation and involvement and you will know if you like your new job, the new car, the new shirt or the new fella.So, why does it still surprise me that in some r'ships around me, the "I knew he/she was the right one" factor raised its pretty head in around that time period?

Well, my guess is that I don't equate a thing working out with such a long term commitment.So, in a month, I know if a job is something that will sustain me for say 6 more months;until the next exciting offer comes along or the hydra of office politics enroaches upon my picture perfect office life.So, much as it might sound sacriligious to compare a job and a marriage, here are the common denominators:

1. you have to sweat and/or slog to make them work
2. a happy/successful day at either=unequalled high (actually, I know there are other parallels that can produce equal highs, but let that pass)
3. you have to please and placate other parties to be good at either(do not read between the lines and susbtitute phrases here to pollute the purity of thought)
4. extraneous factors largely influence bliss
5. a pat on the back goes a long way in both relationships
6. a break (may) help to forge stronger ties
7. manager quality influences commitment (A and my personal favorite;apologies to Germaine and chauvinists)

I can't think of more...oh yes...there is performance pressure and then the longer you stay, the higher you ascend and all that...but I l save that for one of my random musings, and not for the serious stuff that this blog (has come to)stand for.

So, the reason to say all this was-that having established that a job and marriage are similar in the demands that they make...can one decide in less than a month if X job is the sort of thing they will hold till that fat retirement check is credited?

And if not, then how can one decide in less than a month that X male is the one to last till D do us apart.(I love the multiple puns on D, btw!!)

Hence, dear A,D's words on this subject: You can never be sure.I can't get in unless I see a clear exit clause, that doesn't hurt anyone.Passions fade, the attractive salary pales in comparison, dents appear in a new car and that hot shirt may become a tad too tight.In three of four cases, you discard and move on, and don't count losses.In the one that you can't discard, Indian sensibilities dictate holding on to vestiges.

Madly enough,never too deep

“We are madly in love”, she claimed.
“Deeply in...”, he replied.
“Foolishly in...”, He thought from the floor above. “They will be making hate lists, the same time next month”.

(To be continued)

Deja Vu

A year to the date from the last time.
The same location.

Another Jack Nicholson Movie on TV, to help recovery.
And he says "I have never lied to you.I have always told you some version of the truth."

Water coursing a familar dried path from eyes to my cheek.

Back to back movies, a bunch of tissues, loads of cheese, juice and headache balm.Except that none of it seems to be enough, in any measure, in any combination.

He got Diane, in Paris.