Well, my guess is that I don't equate a thing working out with such a long term commitment.So, in a month, I know if a job is something that will sustain me for say 6 more months;until the next exciting offer comes along or the hydra of office politics enroaches upon my picture perfect office life.So, much as it might sound sacriligious to compare a job and a marriage, here are the common denominators:
- you have to sweat and/or slog to make them work
- a happy/successful day at either=unequalled high (actually, I know there are other parallels that can produce equal highs, but let that pass)
- you have to please and placate other parties to be good at either(do not read between the lines and susbtitute phrases here to pollute the purity of thought)
- extraneous factors largely influence bliss
- a pat on the back goes a long way in both relationships
- a break (may) help to forge stronger ties
- manager quality influences commitment (A and my personal favorite;apologies to Germaine and chauvinists)
I can't think of more...oh yes...there is performance pressure and then the longer you stay, the higher you ascend and all that...but I l save that for one of my random musings, and not for the serious stuff that this blog (has come to)stand for.
So, the reason to say all this was-that having established that a job and marriage are similar in the demands that they make...can one decide in less than a month if X job is the sort of thing they will hold till that fat retirement check is credited?
And if not, then how can one decide in less than a month that X male is the one to last till D do us apart.(I love the multiple puns on D, btw!!)
Hence, dear A,D's words on this subject: You can never be sure.I can't get in unless I see a clear exit clause, that doesn't hurt anyone.Passions fade, the attractive salary pales in comparison, dents appear in a new car and that hot shirt may become a tad too tight.In three of four cases, you discard and move on, and don't count losses.In the one that you can't discard, Indian sensibilities dictate holding on to vestiges.
7 comments:
I find similarity #6 particularly interesting. How long does the break have to be?
Totally agree ... what we need is a 1 year (or 6 month) rotation policy, where we keep flitting between partners/jobs ... the whole concept of a lifelong commitment just has to do with pesky kids ;)
1,2,3,4,5 seem inter-related/redundant
feeling good == getting a reward for some effort
(pat on the back, extraneous factors, successful day at work, having to slog, trying to please) are all just manifestations of this equation IMHO.
1.A break:short enough to not seem too long;long enough to miss, not pine?
2.Disagree with rotation.The concept of rotation implies coming back to something....maybe in a hope that the initial attraction could be rekindled having seen other non-attractive pastures.Disagree with commitment for kids.
3.Seem...granted.Is...disagree.Beg to differ in the usage of "redundant".Mathematically, yes....contextually...NO!
(i may have disagreed more than my amiable self permits....:)
What if it's been too long a break, and now you've been replaced?
Or even worse, the position still isn't filled, but your colleagues aren't the same as you left them - the awkward questions about what you did on your break, why the break was needed in the first place, the talking behind your back, etc.
Moral of the Story: Taking a break is never any good.
http://xkcd.com/c128.html
everything having been said, 'laaife is like a baax of chaaaclets. you never know what you're gonna get!' (courtesy: forest gump, and an ex-colleague of mine who is no more)
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