Too old for roving

Proof of ageing:-

1. Daily morning vanity involves looking for double chin/crow's feet/wrinkles, making daily plans to do something about it (including stopping an extra minute at anti-ageing product counters)
2. Everything that glistens (on the head) is grey
3. You think twice before telling someone your age (once, to remember how old you really are, and the second time, to lie/not to lie)
4. Grey and neutrals as colors are more appealing than baby pink and canary yellow
5. Dr Scholls is your weekend sole-mate
6. You practice your grown-up voice (so there will be more of those "You look younger than you sound" comments)
7. Adding numbers becomes more difficult, so you just stop checking bills
8. Flabby arms are noted, and immediately blamed on bad genes
9. You pay attention to forwards that tell you how to know if you are having a stroke
10. You start calling thathas and patis, uncles and aunties- in the hope that kids around will take a similar lenient view of you
11. You look for excuses to avoid going down the stairs
12. Love handles appear and refuse to gowaway
13. Bucket Lists are made
14. The use of the word "child"/"lad"/"kid" in daily speech increases
15. 30, 40, even 50 somethings are your new heroes and benchmarks. Of course, you also look at Brad and George and wonder if it isn't time they just stopped appearing in public
16. Retirement plans are closely watched
17. You notice more old people than you used to
18. You look for ways to keep your brain active. Not that working helps.
19. You feel less embarassed about going out alone to a concert. In fact, you feel less embarassed about a lot of things- including sneezing without a tissue in a meeting
20. You have accepted that you can really grow no taller, and you focus on mastering the art of walking on tarred roads in stilettoes
21. You are less concerned about your heart and start remembering the (70?) other organs
22. Breakfast as a meal is seriously evaluated.
23. You don't remember when you last had pizza at a pizza place
24. Your doctor is fourth on your speed dial
25. You are more likely to carry around Volini than Pepper Spray
26. You want to stop this list at 25 so that you can pretend that's how old you really are

(to be continued)