Year-end Notes to Self

Yet another year, and as much indecision. My mind wants to really analyze the year gone by, the way I used to when I was younger, earnestly make resolutions and sorta do my year-end review of self versus ideal self. But none of that is going to happen, cos of 1)inertia and 2) i want to be nice to myself and not rue over what I was not. But just so I know, here is a list of the topmost things on my mind:-
1. Not reading enough. So I discovered only a dozen blogs that I read more religiously than the pinkie papers, and a treasure-trove of online literature, audio poetry- but none of it makes up for the volumes that still need to be read within this life-time. I paused here for a long time to try and remember the best book that I read this year (and as my Lyrus entries have become chronicles of daily drudgery, rather than the kind of chronicles that could be published by my estate)-and I cannot remember most of what I read, I guess I would have to say The Blind Assassin, which I started last year, and finished this year was my best find, and the worst was the Booker of Bookers.
2. Watching fewer execrable movies on a paid-for basis (Bond II topped this year's list, cos we walked out of Golmaal Returns) than last year and discovering the joys of torrentz. That probably goes down as one of the saving graces for the year. I am through half the Globe List, at no cost, at all. And Pixar makes me cry and my heart go out to animated objects, second year in a row.
3. Re-discovering the Hindu x-word, finding x-word buddies at work and that blissful feeling on finding completed squares by the time I step inside work. Hooray for the Hindu, and the way it makes me feel- intelligent (despite that annoying tabloid-ish section that they insist on packaging it with)
4.Surviving a year without a gas stove, and making no attempts to find one either, despite pleas from female parent and veiled threats from Pa. And yes, I know that microwave cooking may cause cancer. Just may.
5.Finding my own apartment in the city, and still having trouble sleeping with the lights switched off. (I miss my old maid. Especially her innocence. And the "clean" feeling despite the aandhis and the famed Ggn dust. And I badly miss the space in my old apartment, and the three balconies. This one has really nice terrace space, though. I don't think the comparisons in my head are going to end anytime soon) (And it's not just me making the comparisons, I realized!)
6. Having Pop over for most of December season. That was completely worth being in Mylapore for.
7.Visiting friends I hadn't seen in years- and the feeling that nothing much had changed. Sure, there was a kid in the background, or one in the belly, a couple of extra pounds, changed looks- but the banter was familiar and re-assuring. Mostly.
8.Losing touch with folks- not all were conscious attempts at alienating.
9. The journey to discovering the balance between family-time and non-family time. A concept that many people disagree with me on.
10. Work- good times, disastrous times, late nights, early offs, bad clients, complete darlings, the joys of teams, the agony of bearing the brunt, bosses and juniors- the full circle. Work still defines what I am....not likely to change for a while. Job losses happened one degree away from me. Scarier than 26/11, from a personal standpoint.
11. Financial mess:- having bank accounts de-activated, losing passwords, ATM chasing in frantic attempts to withdraw money before long bank strikes, swallowed cards, bouncing cheques, my saga of troubles with a blighted SE Asian Bank, rental defaults with liquidity crisis precipitated by late salary payments, credit card application rejections by only the fourth bank in my working life, erosion in investments, bail-outs by lender of last resort (Pa), bank liquidation scares, "I told you so" monologues by home economist, being sick at home with barely 50 bucks in cash, and the agonizing "To gold it. Or not to". Phew! And I get to tell people what to do with their money?